Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Mental Constipation aka Writer's Block and why I think it happens to me

Every writer has their quirks. I have mine. For example, when I start a novel or screenplay, I must have a fresh ream of paper set aside to print out the first draft. That block of paper will sit untouched throughout the creative process until I reach, "The End." If I need to see pages printed out, that's fine, any old paper will do for that. But that first full printing of that first draft... only a freshly-opened package of clean virgin paper will do.

And when the gears in my brain grind to a creative halt, I know the subconscious me has just quirked itself into a major short-circuit. It's not that I've all of a sudden forgotten proper format or even run out of ideas. But, somehow I've laid a giant mental turd and now it's just sitting there in the creative pipeline. Mocking me. Nyeah, nyeah, I'm not gonna let you write...

So why does this happen?

For me, the problem seems to be an invisible (to the conscious mind) fault of logic. If I have needs as a writer to get from Point A to Point Z, I notice that I will get on the I-Have-Control-Issues-So-I-Must-Micro-Manage-Everything kick. Characters tend to get pissed off when you do that. Sometimes, they even go on a sit-down strike and refuse to cooperate in any way.

It's usually that my needs as a writer have collided with who my characters ABSOLUTELY KNOW they are and what's true to them and would they really do that, say that, react in just that way. But, I need them to do/say/feel/act just that way or I'll never see Point Z. Hence, the micro-managing. No doubt, in that circumstance, any reader and most likely any audience member would be able to feel the writer writing.

What I'm trying to "force" is not natural or logical for that character.

The screenplay form does not have one ounce of forgiveness for extra wordage. It's not a pretty little story, dears. It's a movie blueprint. So there are no time-outs in a movie for a character to address the audience to explain themselves. They just have to be themselves and by being just that, they cause the action (drama) of the story to unfold. Sometimes, they know better than I do who they are. My living breathing flesh-and-blood three-dimensional people populating my writing need to understand that I need to tell a story but, I need to remember it's actually their story that's being told.

Perhaps I see my page count thickening up with too much fat content and I know how much still needs to get itself told and that last page is looming and what can I do but try to squeeze in the essentials in the amount of pages I've got left. Somewhere in all that I sometimes manage to send my characters off in directions they would not naturally go.

Another hazard along the logic trail are wayward dominoes. You know how every line trips into the next one and every scene trips into the next story element like a perfectly set up row of falling dominoes? Well, if it ain't shaking out right, your whole structure gets a bit wayward, a bit whacked, and the dominoes start disappearing out of the chain and since logic is perfection itself, it knows itself, and it will know ahead of time - before you even get there as the writer - that there's a missing domino... or two or three.

And that part of my brain that exists in registers so high my conscious mind can't hear it (like a psychic dog whistle) gets that misfire approaching, danger Will Robinson signal. And it sends a Work Shutdown Notice to the rest of the gray matter and that really is, "all she wrote."

So when the words don't come and since there really is no easy version of mental Ex-Lax, when I get to that point where it all grinds to a screeching halt and nothing else is forthcoming, the well is bone-freaking-dry...

I know I've lost a domino. Or maybe the whole chain just fell apart only it's further ahead in the creative process where I can't yet see it.

What that means is, I have to PAINstakingly work backwards, unweaving the tapestry until I discover the point at which it all started to go wrong. If I'm lucky, I'll find it. If I really am a for-real writer and not just role-playing at it, I should be able to find it.

A LITTLE TRICK I USE: Since my character(s) have now become suspicious of me and aren't willing to cooperate in the making of my story, sometimes, I'll take them out for a little R&R. Maybe we'll pick a story out of the headlines or maybe we'll revisit a favorite vacation or other real-life memory of mine and my character will live it or maybe my character will just go on a little road trip of his/her own. No pressure, darlings. You are not required to perform your screenplay duties. Take that break. I just sit back and watch. More times than not, little flashes and bits of inspiration shake out. I scoop them up, to be used in the current story or saved and savored for the next one.

In one novel/screenplay combo I wrote, what I thought was going to be a "secondary character" had so much juice to him, was so incredibly real with a hundred stories of his own that needed telling, that's exactly what I had to promise him after taking him for a little out-of-screenplay R&R. He's going to be the central character in at least two more novels.

So. Logic is key. Logic of character or logic of structure or logic of any other element of writing, if you just made your logic take a nosedive, you..are..screwed. So go back, unravel the mess, and begin again from that point forward. If that task seems overwhelming, go ahead and take a break from the whole writing scene. Step back from that computer. Get up and move. Treat yourself to a little R&R. And, maybe, take a character along for the ride.

It's all good.

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