Bad Sex in Fiction Award

This is fun, trying to (or is it accidental?) write the worst sex scene in fiction. The finalist scenes are listed on the Guardian's website. The winner is WINKLER by Giles Coren (Jonathon Cape), a food writer. You'll find it there along with the rest of the finalist entries. Some finalist excerpts: his dick jumped around and rattled on her teeth his prick stared back at him with its one eye clouded by a single drop of pure seminal yearning it was not long before she had found what she was looking for and liberated his straining manhood Boonyi pulled her phiran and shirt off over her head and stood before him naked except for the little pot of fire hanging low, below her belly, heating further what was already hot her nipples opened and flowered without being touched I twined my legs around Homer's body, gripping him like a hunter hanging on to its prey. There's more.